Here's a great article that I enjoyed very much..
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarassment.
When I went to the City Hall to renew his license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!"
Then I said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand, I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When I married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
When I married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, " You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny - I have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappoointed. I told him that I have planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The court room isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappoointed. I told him that I have planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The court room isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Thursday.
